Patong Beach is No Jersey Shore

Because as best as I can tell, the Jersey shore doesn't have prostitute bars.

Really, Patong is the worst. It's a bunch of young australians on something called 40 trip (imagine frat spring break weekend but more group songs), and old pervy euros with thai girls who are pushing 18 at best. Aside from that there was a group of Australian women way overdressed (it's a crappy beach town and they come in looking like extras for the Grammy's) and your intrepid bloggers.

So what do we do? Well we wander around for a while and finally settle at what appears to be some random dive bar with a bunch of australians. We get menus for drinks and below the list of beers and liquors is the little heading "lady drink". Does this mean women can only have soft drinks and the like? No, fear not, lady drink is what you order for the bar girl that keeps you company. We realized this after looking over at some white guy pushing 60 who was chatting away with a Thai girl who looked at best 22 (a hard living 22, but still).

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, we sought out the only other couple in the bar (dutch duo in their 30's or 40's) and asked their opinion. They were with us, they guy was a sex tourist all the way. As if to confirm our collective suspicions the old guy haggled with the thai girl for a bit, started kissing for a few minutes and then walked off hand in hand. Ahh Patong.

This repeated at each bar we went to. Some old whiteguy sitting their trying to hit on some remarkably bored looking Thai girl who was at best 1/3 of his age.

Did I mention the drinks we ordered? They came in glasses shaped like headless naked women. And our check number? 69. Same as everyone else's check there.

Stay classy Patong Beach, someone has to.