Let Lying Dogs Sleep

Interviewing clients right after their arrest can sometimes be a tricky proposition. Some clients clam up, not knowing their new attorney and not necessarily trusting them. Others, overcome with emotion, can't stop crying, and any attempt to get even the slightest bit of information will lead to an outpouring of tears that nothing can get through. Some of course, are all to willing to share their side of the story, which often boils down to "everyone's lying on me."

Tell a client they were arrested for a burglary and they will say they weren't there. Tell them there is a videotape of them inside the house burglarized and they will say the tape was doctored. Tell them that they gave a statement confessing to the crime and they will say they never said anything. Tell them and show them the statement recorded on videotape and they will say that they didn't really mean it. Everyone and everything is lying on them.

I thought had heard some of the most ridiculous versions of the "everything's a lie" interview until today. A colleague of mine just got a new client who is charged with assaulting a police officer and assaulting a police officer's dog. In the course of explaining the charges to him, said colleague explained that he was being charged with assaulting a police officer.

Client response: "Those cops are lying, I never touched them."

Okay, fair enough, on to the next charge. Colleague explains that client is charged with assaulting a police dog.

Client response: "That dog is lying, I never touched that dog."

Colleague: "The dog is lying?"

Client: "Yeah, that dog is lying if he told the cops I hurt him."

I must admit, I have absolutely now idea what to say to a client who believes in talking (and lying) dogs. If anyone has ideas, let me know.