Monday, September 29, 2008

In case of emergency....

We're going to keep Jordan's phone operational when overseas but people should call us ONLY IF THERE IS AN EMERGENCY since it costs $3,000 a minute to talk there. (Or $3. Something like that.) Just remember: What you think is an emergency might not be something I consider an emergency.

A guideline:

EXAMPLE 1: Our house burns down. The cats are OK.
RULING: This is NOT an emergency.
If the house is gone, the house is gone. Telling us we've lost all of our worldly goods won't bring them back and would only ruin our trip. Take the cats to your house and give them treats and love. Save your Debbie Downer update until you pick us up from the airport.

EXAMPLE 2: Our house burns down. The cats are NOT OK.
RULING: This is NOT an emergency.
Because we are never going to know the cats aren't OK. Your job is to now find exact replacement cats and fast. Good luck finding a grouch like Bourre, a needy cuddle slut like Rocky and and a Lady Licks-A-Lot like Spike.

EXAMPLE 3: Some sort of professional or personal humiliation befalls someone we don't like; not fatal but amusing.
RULING: This is NOT an emergency BUT you must email details immediately. Perhaps send a text alerting us so we can run to an internet cafe.

EXAMPLE 4: A bizarre Bermuda Triangle accident causes the disappearance of the following major league baseball teams: Red Sox, White Sox, Blue Jays, Angels, Mariners, Rays, Orioles, Twins, Tigers, Rangers, Indians, A's, and Royals. The New York Yankees, the sole surviving AL team, are forced to represent the league in the World Series.
RULING: This IS an emergency.
Call immediately. Have a game schedule handy. Buy tickets if you can.

NXP

2 comments:

Mark, Tamara, Jordan and Delaney said...

Hope you have a great trip. I'd ask where all you were going, but I prefer the suspense. We'll live vicariously through your blog!

DawnSomewhere said...

I sent you an email. Send me J's number, just in case Derek Jeter is trying to find you.
Also, there was a boy at the Springsteen concert who had what looked like watch batteries implanted in the back of his neck. They were not decorative in any way.
My thought -he was a robot. Could it be some sort of medical thing? Please ponder while traveling.
- Dawn